Emotional Fidelity

“I’m trusting you with my life, my body, my hopes, my dreams. Please be kind and gentle.” When I read this quote, it spoke to me. This is what I feel and I hope that Preston understands this and that he feels the same way. This is the kind of trust that happy marriages have. This is the kind of trust I want in my marriage.

Throughout this week we learned about being fully there for our spouses. 100% devoted to them. There were many different stories about people making friendships with coworkers that developed into more than just a friendship. Most of these people didn’t even realize they had a problem because that is how easy it is. It happens so gradually that people don’t see it until they are further into the “steps of unfaithfulness”.

Progression of unfaithfulness

–Behaviors that seem innocent (i.e., missionary work, doing good, helping in some capacity)

–An affection grows that claims part of one’s heart

–Extramarital flirting.  Justification-“no harm intended”

–Relationship declared as “special”

–Opportunities created to see “special friend” (One worries what others will say/think)

–Excuses made, lies told to hide time and resources spent on other person

–Spouse is displaced. Emotional intimacy exchanged with “special friend”

–Faultfinding with spouse

–Fantasies about other person

–Physical affection– a squeeze, a kiss, a hug

–Sexual relations

I wanted to share these steps because it is a good reference. If I know the warning signs, I can better avoid them. Or if I find myself in a relationship that does not promote my marriage I can fix it before it becomes a problem.

“I’m trusting you with my life, my body, my hopes, my dreams. Please be kind and gentle.” When our partners fall into this pattern of unfaithfulness, they lose sight of that trust. Each step further down makes it harder to climb back out.

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